I re-discovered Mark Twain on my first (and thus far only) trip to Connecticut. Perhaps when I was younger I didn’t have the insight yet to realize the wit with which Mark posed his innermost ponderings.

There have been many times in my life when a book, article, or quote presents itself with amazing relevance. Today was one of those days. It was a particularly defeating day in German class, thanks to a substitute teacher. Since my regular teacher is the only native-German speaker I can actually understand it meant that I was totally confused for most of the day.

Sharing my frustration with Joe at dinner he said that he had something he wanted me to read. It was a lengthy text describing the challenges and complexity of German. After several paragraphs, I asked where it had come from. Mark Twain, of course.

To articulate your own feelings is one thing. To have a legendary pen-man do it for you is even better.

 A very brief snippet from Appendix D from Twain’s 1880 book A Tramp Abroad.

Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and system-less, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, “Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions.” He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it. So overboard he goes again, to hunt for another Ararat and find another quicksand. Such has been, and continues to be, my experience.

My philological studies have satisfied me that a gifted person ought to learn English (barring spelling and pronouncing) in thirty hours, French in thirty days, and German in thirty years. It seems manifest, then, that the latter tongue ought to be trimmed down and repaired. If it is to remain as it is, it ought to be gently and reverently set aside among the dead languages, for only the dead have time to learn it.

Extended text attached.Abridged Mark Twain